Triads: Discipleship that is Surprisingly Simple and Biblical

It is almost time for Thanksgiving, and I have already started getting the “new year-new me” emails. Publishers, apps, and organizations are getting ahead of the crowd with promotions. This got me thinking, “Why do New Year's resolutions often fail so miserably?” I think it is because they are built on selfish desires that often shift quickly, and also because they are designed to run off pure willpower. But if we genuinely want to see change in our lives, we need divine power and godly desires, not willpower and selfish desires. This simple triad model is one way to pursue genuine change: building godly desires, reading God’s Word, and seeking divine power to change through prayer in a mutual setting with close friends. So, what is the triad model of discipleship?

What is a Discipleship Triad?

The discipleship triad is simple: three people (same gender), meeting once or twice a week, and talking through four simple diagnostic questions:

-            How is your time in the Word and prayer?

-            Where is God working in your life?

-            Where are you struggling?

-            What does God say about that struggle, and how are you responding?

Why the Triad Model Works

First, this model works because it is built around the ordinary means of grace. The first question presupposes regular time in the Word and prayer by each person in the group. You can ensure this happens through group accountability and devotional reading plans, or by picking a book of the Bible to read and pray through together. There is no reliance on programs, events, or random Bible study books; just fellowship with one another as we read, apply, and pray the Bible together (Heb. 10:24-25).

Second, this model assumes the ongoing fight against sin (Rom. 7). By way of self-examination, through questions two and three, we see the good and the bad going on in our lives. It brings joy to each other's hearts to see all the good God has brought into our lives; it is also a reminder that God is actively working in our lives for our good and His glory (Rom. 8:28-29). But we must also humble ourselves and expose the sin in our lives, bringing it to the light (1 John 1:7-9), and killing it. John Owen says, “Be killing sin or it will be killing you.”

Third, the triad model reflects covenantal community rather than mere individualism that is so prevalent in our culture. Sanctification is a personal matter, but that does not mean it has to be a private matter. We need accountability in our lives, and this only happens when we invite others into our lives and stop hiding behind our sin. Romans 12:15 reminds us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” This happens in community with others; we need one another.

Lastly, question four helps us to think about what we have read in God’s Word and how we should respond to it. This also reflects the third use of the law as a guide for the justified. We should expect the Holy Spirit to work through these ordinary means of grace, rather than manipulation and emotional techniques designed for behavioral modification. But there are some cautions to keep in mind as well.

Cautions and Nuances

First, guard against moralism and simple behavioral modification. Begin each session with the gospel, reminding each other of their union and justification with Christ through faith, and the obedience that flows from that, rather than for it. Second, keep the Word central and refrain from gossip or small talk. Discipleship isn’t intended to be a therapy session but a time of learning and growing in the Word. Third, resist the temptation to let this model, or the relationships built, replace the regular gatherings of the local church. We still need the church, the larger community, corporate worship, and covenantal membership. Lastly, keep the gender rule. It protects privacy and helps keep accountability within the group.

Starting a New Group

As the new year quickly approaches, consider starting a group with some close friends in your church. Identify a few good friends you'd like to meet with. Start talking about it now and getting a game plan together. Set up some ground rules for your meetings and agree to them. Pick a day, time, place, and a reading plan, then start praying for and about your group. There is no need to make this complicated.

Conclusion

We are living in a culture with very shallow discipleship, apps, and celebrity pastors who are writing new, flashy bible studies every day. But we don’t need studies with the latest buzzwords and shallow man-centered theology. We need humble, counter-cultural, Christ-centered theology that empowers believers for their new life in Christ. This method isn’t flashy, but the Holy Spirit will work through the ordinary means of grace, the Word, prayer, and fellowship, to transform the people of God. Pray this week for a couple of names and send that text or make that call. Be killing sin together, or it will be killing you alone.