Foundations of Biblical Counseling: Part 6

How We Counsel

“Biblical counseling is God-centered, Bible-saturated, emotionally-in-touch use of language to help people become God-besotted, Christ-exalting, joyfully self-forgetting lovers of people.”

In Parts 1-5, I have shared many of the fundamental aspects of our counseling journey together. While these insights are invaluable, it’s essential that we weave them together into a compassionate methodology. With the knowledge we’ve explored from parts 1-5, how can we offer our support in counseling? This is the answer I aim to provide in the final section of this series. It’s important to understand that this is not an exhaustive or rigid methodology for counseling, but rather a thoughtful framework to guide us as we move forward with our counselee, ensuring that we approach their unique needs with kindness and understanding.

I recall my time at Master’s University, where I took Biblical counseling classes. Throughout that journey, my heart was often leading me to one central question: “How do I do this?” As Scott Mehl expresses in his book Messy Care, there are no definitive scripts or formulas to follow (see Intro To Messy Care). This is why understanding the core principles of care is vital for anyone who wishes to engage with others in their struggles. I discovered that these fundamentals create a nurturing foundation, much like the effort I’ve made to share with you here.

Now, let’s compassionately transition to the practical aspects so that we can build upon this knowledge together. In this basic counseling methodology, I will outline three heartfelt steps: First, approach with love, listen intently, and discern biblically. Second, clearly identify both the problem and possible biblical solutions. Lastly, offer guidance that reflects care and understanding.

Love, Listen, and Discern

I appreciate John Piper’s definition of biblical counseling as stated above, especially the last part, “joyfully self-forgetting lovers of people.” As counselors, we have to become self-forgetting lovers of people. We are not entering this counseling relationship as a means to build our own platforms but because we truly care for the souls of those who come to us seeking help. We must be willing to give up time in our day to answer the phone call of that person facing extreme anxiety over a situation at work. We have to make time to check in on that counselee who is tempted to go to the bar and drink themselves to death while grieving the loss of a loved one. Simply put, we must love and care for those who come to us for help.  

“Everyone has a story to tell. Some stories are more encouraging and some are more discouraging than others. In every case, the Lord hears. We hope to do the same.” John Henderson, in this statement, clearly shows the second part of this first aspect: lovingly listening. Part 7 of the Biblical Counseling Coalition’s statement of faith states, “We seek to enter into a person’s story, listening well, expressing thoughtful love, and engaging the person with compassion.” Every individual carries a unique story within them, and as counselors, we have the privilege of entering those stories with a heart full of love and a commitment to compassionate listening. By genuinely engaging with the person before us, we uncover the intricate details of their experiences and the challenges they face that may feel like chains holding them back. This deepens our understanding and naturally brings us to the essential practice of discernment.

Dale Johnson, while speaking of Jay Adams’s description of the suffering saints needing to come to God, says, “In order to be wise counselors in this effort, we must first be discerning counselors…. Listening to the counselee describe their situation is paramount as you seek to understand their story against the backdrop of biblical truth.” We must listen with great compassion, taking care to understand the challenges faced by those who are suffering. Scripture offers us wisdom as we discern the genuine struggles of the hurting individuals before us. For instance, anxiety is a prevalent issue that many attribute to a chemical imbalance, yet the Bible reveals anxiety as a manifestation of fear concerning the unknown. As we attentively listen to our counselee express their feelings of anxiety, it is essential to gently explore the underlying causes. They may be grappling with fears related to job loss, financial difficulties stemming from gambling, or the potential loss of a cherished loved one. These fears can weigh heavily on our hearts, nurturing an anxiety that spirals within us. Therefore, it is crucial that we listen with the intention of understanding and discerning these issues through a compassionate, biblical lens. This approach is vital for us as counselors and deeply needed by our counselees, who are seeking support and guidance.

Identifying Roots and Solutions

If we have listened attentively and through a biblical lens, we will have also recognized some of the fruit that has emerged as the issue. While it is valuable to observe the fruit, as counselors, we want to delve deeper: to the root. “Root issues are the underlying weaknesses or flaws that contribute to a problem.” If we examine the example of anxiety (fruit), losing money may be a result of a gambling addiction, which stems from a fearful heart that may lack trust in God (root) for the provision of their family’s needs. Fear and a lack of trust in God are the root issues in this situation, and as a counselor, we aim to facilitate change in that specific area; trusting in God is essential for this counselee’s transformation. As counselors, these are the types of things we need to be aware of and listen for in every situation we face.

Once we have identified the root causes of the challenges faced by our counselees, we gently seek to guide them toward biblical solutions that nurture their growth and lead to abundant, healthy fruit. Our desire is to lovingly encourage our counselees with these biblical principles, helping them to deepen their relationship with Christ and experience His transformative love. “Generally speaking, we can exhort people to humility, trust in God’s Word, and action upon scriptural truths that specifically apply to their struggles or suffering.” Paul came to the Corinthians not with extravagant wisdom or lofty eloquence, but with a heartfelt message: “I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified” (1 Cor. 2:1-5). In Christ, we find all that we need, and God has lovingly provided us with the wisdom we seek through His Word. This is why we embrace the role of “biblical” counselors; we gently exhort, admonish, teach, comfort, and guide others with the profound love and truths woven into the very words of God (1 Thes. 5:14).

1 Thessalonians 5:14 “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.”

Counseling Practically

As we listen, discern, and identify the roots and solutions, it’s essential to compassionately help our counselees put these solutions into practice. There are countless ways to do this, and I encourage counselors to explore creative, engaging, and biblically grounded approaches. In this spirit, let’s turn our attention to the invaluable wisdom found in 1 Thessalonians 5:14, which guides us in caring for others. Our journey of listening, discerning, and identifying must also include empathy for the current state of our counselees. Paul highlights three possible states: idle, fainthearted, and weak. Understanding these conditions allows us to respond with the specific care each person needs, offering support that truly resonates with them.

To admonish or warn “involves pointing out to another where they have departed from Scriptural truth for living.” Someone who knows the right path but has seemingly gotten off should be admonished or warned of the consequences and guided back onto the right path. This usually tends to be someone who is walking in willing rebellion or has been deceived by another teaching. Likewise, we have to be careful with our teaching and instructing others to discern good from evil and to live wisely.

The second type of person that Paul describes is the one who may be “faint-hearted.” This person may be easily depressed and downtrodden, in which the best thing we can do is to encourage them. “This ministry may include reminders of biblical promises, support in prayer, and examples of others who struggled but continued in salvation.” Some are better at this than others, but as counselors, we must hone our skills in this area as most of our counselees and even ourselves will be in this place at some point. Giving hope for real change through the gospel is one of the best motivators of encouragement I have found for all of my counselees.

The third person Paul describes is the weak, referring to those who are in need of both spiritual and physical support. Many individuals face challenges that make it hard for them to turn away from sin in their lives, and it is important to approach them with understanding and compassion, recognizing their struggles and offering our help. Richard Phillips notes in his commentary on this passage that “The word for help literally means “to lay hold of,” with the idea of not letting them go.” It’s understandable to feel frustrated when someone persists in choices that we believe aren’t in their best interest, even after we’ve gently guided them numerous times. However, we must remember the importance of holding onto hope for them. More importantly, we can choose to walk alongside those in need, offering support and assistance when others may turn away. This reflects the kind of compassionate care that James speaks of in his letter, emphasizing the calling to care for widows and orphans (James 1:27). 

In conclusion, biblical counseling is not merely a collection of talking points or a few verses casually mentioned; it is a profound journey through the Word of God. Here, we discover the beautiful story of redemption that invites us to build a compassionate worldview and offers wisdom that truly surpasses anything this world can provide. We extend hope rooted in God’s promises, illuminated by the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, inviting all people to experience His love. In this sacred space, we listen deeply, discern thoughtfully, and offer wisdom that flows from God Himself, as revealed in the pages of Scripture. Above all, biblical counseling should be filled with compassion and grounded in biblical truth. My heartfelt hope is that through this series, you have found foundational insights and guidance into how the counseling process works, nurturing both understanding and healing. 

As always you can reach out to me through my blog page or schedule care at https://www.redeemercare.net/redeemer-borger

Piper, John. “God’s Glory Is the Goal of Biblical Counseling.” The Journal of Biblical Counseling, Number 2, Winter 2002, edited by David A. Powlison, vol. 20, The Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation, 2002, p. 8.

Henderson, John. Equipped to Counsel. Association of Biblical Counselors. Pg. 213

Powlison, David. “A Coalescing of Various Biblical Counseling Ministries.” The Journal of Biblical Counseling, vol. 32, no. 1, Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation, 2018, p. 96.

Johnson, T. Dale. “No End in Sight? Biblical Help for Chronic Illness.” Whole Counsel: The Public and Private Ministries of the Word: Essays in Honor of Jay E. Adams, edited by Donn R. Arms and Dave Swavely, Institute for Nouthetic Studies, 2020, p. 187.

Insight for Living. Counseling Insights: A Biblical Perspective on Caring for People. Insight for Living, 2007, p. 6.

Henderson, John. Equipped to Counsel. Association of Biblical Counselors. Pg. 227

Ibid. Pg. 237

Phillips, Richard D. 1 & 2 Thessalonians. Edited by Richard D. Phillips et al., P&R Publishing, 2015, p. 241.

Ibid.  pg. 241.