Heart Responses: A Biblical Counseling Approach to Understanding Life’s Challenges

Have you ever wondered why you engage in certain behaviors? Even subconsciously, we often act in response to various situations. Understanding our heart responses can provide insight into these behaviors. Analyzing our heart responses allows us to delve deeper into our reactions, enhancing our understanding of what is occurring and why. For a much more detailed way of thinking about our hearts and the responses they make, see Jeremy Pierre’s book, The Dynamic Heart in Daily Life: Connecting Christ to Human Experience.

Proverbs 4:23 states, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” In the Gospels, Jesus (Matt. 15:15-20) explains that everything we think, say, and do flows from our hearts. Therefore, to better understand our actions in response to various situations, we must trace our reactions back to the heart. In this article, I aim to present a practical perspective on this process and how I navigate it when speaking with counselees. Let’s start by explaining the process.

The Heart Response Process: A Three-Step Journey

Our hearts operate through a cognitive understanding of the situation, followed by an emotional response, and finally, a volitional reaction. The initial stage of this process is the cognitive aspect. We interpret the situation we are responding to; these interpretations then shape a specific belief about it. For instance, if I receive a cancer diagnosis, I may interpret this as an indication that I will die prematurely, leading to the belief that God does not care about me and that I am alone in this. Consequently, I will live in a manner that reflects this belief and continue responding in ways that align with it.

The second aspect of this process is the emotional component, which is influenced by the previously stated belief. Since God must not care about me and has left me alone, I now feel anxious and angry all the time. As a result of my anxiety and anger, I may have the desire to isolate myself and die alone.

The third and final aspect of this process is the volitional aspect, or the actions of the heart. Because God doesn’t care for me and has left me alone, I now feel angry and anxious; thus, I have the desire to isolate myself and prepare to die alone. There are choices I make, such as rashly giving things away and gradually pulling away from the church community. Out of these choices, I may end up committing to locking myself in my house and cutting everyone off, or worse, committing suicide to end it all.

We live out what we believe to be true. This is why it is critical for believers to root themselves in the Word of God and seek daily to renew their minds and hearts in Christ (Rom. 12:2). In the sections that follow, I will begin to elaborate on this in a bit more detail and hopefully provide some hope for change along the way.

Cognitive Heart Responses: Understanding the Situation

In the cognitive phase of this process, we warmly focus on understanding our interpretations and beliefs about the situation at hand. Continuing with our example of a cancer diagnosis, it’s essential to explore how my beliefs are shaped by my interpretation of this diagnosis. There are so many ways I could look at this, but to keep things simple and ensure a smooth flow of thought, let’s say I view this as a looming death that feels really unfair. This perspective might lead me to feel as though God is unjust and has left me behind.

Effective Heart Responses: Feeling and Desiring God’s Way

Continuing our journey from beliefs, we arrive at the heartfelt responses of our feelings and desires. When I believe that God is unjust and has turned away from me, it’s natural to feel a mix of anger, bitterness, and betrayal. Ultimately These feelings can shape our desires, guiding how we choose to express what we believe to be true. Consequently, I may feel a strong desire to distance myself from anyone or anything associated with this unjust and uncaring God who allowed me to face cancer. Thus, understanding our heartfelt responses means exploring our feelings, which ultimately leads to our desires and propels us into the next step of the journey.

Volitional Heart Responses: Choosing and Committing to Faith

The volitional heart responses represent the heartfelt actions that arise from our deepest desires and beliefs regarding this situation. In this moment, I feel that God has been unjust and has left me to face this cancer diagnosis alone. As a result, I find myself wanting to distance myself from anything related to religion, including the people who have been a part of my life. This desire can lead to choices and ultimately a commitment. It might start with no longer praying, stepping back from Bible study, or skipping a Sunday service from time to time. From these initial choices, I could gradually find myself distancing from the church and those around me who are religious or encouraging me to simply trust God. It’s interesting how the smaller choices we make often evolve into larger commitments in our lives.

Practical Tools for the Journey

Journaling

Psalm 119:27 “Make me understand the way of your precepts, and I will meditate on your wondrous works.”

A highly effective method to support a counselee during this process is to encourage them to maintain a detailed journal of their thoughts concerning each box in the exercise. By first clearly identifying the situation, they can then seamlessly transition into interpreting their feelings, exploring underlying beliefs, and analyzing their reactions moving forward. 

To enhance this journaling experience for those who, like me, find visuals particularly beneficial, I have developed a comprehensive worksheet designed to streamline the process. The worksheet includes prompts and sections to guide their reflections, helping to clarify their thoughts. However, a straightforward journaling approach can also yield equally valuable insights, allowing for flexibility based on personal preference.

Prayer

Psalm 17:1 “Hear a just cause, O Lord; attend to my cry! Give ear to my prayer from lips free of deceit!”

Once we have thoroughly examined their interpretations and beliefs, our primary goal is to assist them in navigating the complex feelings and desires that arise from these beliefs. To facilitate this process effectively, we can incorporate prayer and Scripture meditation as integral components. Engaging in this beautiful practice serves to transform any false beliefs, feelings, and desires into those that align more harmoniously with biblical truths and principles. Additionally, encouraging individuals to articulate their own prayers can provide a meaningful outlet for expressing their emotions regarding their situations to a God who genuinely cares for them and wishes to guide them through their struggles (1 Peter 5:6-7). This personalized approach not only fosters a deeper connection with God but also promotes emotional clarity and spiritual growth in their journey.

Community

Hebrews 10:24-25 “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

Community plays a vital role in supporting someone during a challenging period in their life. When facing difficult circumstances, individuals often feel compelled to retreat and isolate themselves from others, which can exacerbate their struggles. It becomes essential for us to actively come alongside these individuals, offering our encouragement and support.

We can motivate them to take short-term, positive actions that can make a significant difference in their emotional and spiritual well-being. For example, staying in prayer can provide comfort and solace, while engaging in study allows them to find wisdom and insights that can help them navigate their challenges. Additionally, gathering together in community fosters a sense of belonging and connection, reminding them that they are not alone in their journey.

This nurturing support is crucial, as it not only helps individuals cope with their immediate difficulties but also enables them to develop healthier long-term commitments. By inspiring them to remain connected within the community, we lay the groundwork for their resilience and personal growth, ultimately guiding them towards a more hopeful and fulfilling future.

Hope in Renewal

Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

It’s truly unfortunate that our initial reactions to sin and suffering often lead us to retreat into feelings of isolation. During these challenging moments, we may find ourselves wrestling with feelings of blame toward God, which can further complicate our relationship with Him. This struggle can create barriers that make it hard for us to reach out during times of need, diminishing our ability to truly reflect on our beliefs and behavioral patterns. 

Consider the story of Jonah. He was called to preach to the Ninevites, but he believed they were unworthy of God’s mercy and salvation. His anger and resentment toward God’s plan prompted him to flee, trying to escape from what he thought was an undeserved assignment. However, even in Jonah’s attempts to evade God, God’s steadfast love remained with him. Ultimately, God utilized Jonah’s reluctance to fulfill His divine purpose. 

This narrative illustrates important truths about how God operates in our lives. When we take time to analyze our circumstances and the challenges we face, we can begin to see His hand at work. By actively engaging in prayer and seeking understanding, we can discover new insights into our faith and the purpose behind our suffering. Instead of shying away in isolation, we can strive to open our hearts to God, allowing Him to guide us through our tumultuous experiences and deepen our relationship with Him.

In Romans 12:2, Paul emphasizes the importance of renewing our minds, urging us to discern what is truly good, acceptable, and perfect in our lives. To practically achieve this renewal, we can engage in several active steps: first, make prayer a daily habit where you seek guidance and clarity from God. Second, dedicate time to reflect on Scripture, focusing not only on its teachings but also on how they apply to our everyday situations. Third, regularly examine your own beliefs, desires, and commitments by journaling or discussing them with trusted friends or mentors. 

I truly hope this message resonates deeply with you and enhances your role as a counselor, just as it has enriched my own journey. By seeking insight into our emotional responses to various situations, we can better confront the sin and suffering we face. This approach not only brings glory to God but also fosters personal growth and resilience in navigating life’s challenges. Remember, the goal is to integrate these practices into your routine so they become a natural part of your spiritual development and counseling work.