Like Deep Waters: Desires Control Us

It is true that we all have certain desires within us. But how deep do those desires run, and to what extent do they influence the way we live and interact with God and others? In James 1:14-15, the process of sin, which includes our desires and longings, is explained. For those who lack an adequate understanding of desires and their influence over us, this may be a shocking revelation. The process unfolds as follows: there is a desire within our hearts for something, a temptation arises that would fulfill that desire, the desire grows, and eventually we give in to that temptation, giving birth to sin and death. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Let’s start at the beginning of this process.

The word "desire" in Scripture can be a broad term, used both in a negative and positive sense, and essentially points us towards those cravings deep within an individual. In Jay Adams’ book A Thirst for Wholeness: How to Gain Wisdom from the Book of James, Dr. Adams describes two types of desires: innate desires and implanted desires. Innate desires are those natural desires from the inner man, such as hunger and sexual drive. The implanted desires are those that come from the outer man, such as desires for money and power.[1] Because we have a heart that is wicked and desperately sick (Jerm. 17:9), and we are naturally driven towards self, we can see our desires from the point of disordered worship.

With this in mind, we can conclude with Jay Adams that, “It becomes an evil desire only when it is wrongly habituated and gratified—for the wrong purposes, at the wrong time, in the wrong way.”^[2] Any desire seeking gratification outside of God Himself becomes an evil desire. This distinction is also important because it helps us identify how we control these desires. Those innate desires, permanent and natural, must be controlled and used for godly purposes. Whereas those implanted desires, non-permanent, need to be put to death if they are leading us away from God and towards self. “So, as James says, it is not the person, object, or the circumstance that tempts you to sin. It is the craving—uncontrolled, wrongly habituated, or both—that does so.”^[3]

Because counselors target the heart, and these desires are shown to originate from the heart, we must understand desires and their impact on our ministries. James Pierre, righty, notes that, “The effect of desires and emotions on the way people think is important to consider in ministry.”^[4] Our hearts respond to these emotions and desires, especially in people who are suffering and seeking relief or rest. Again, Dr. Pierre notes, “If either understanding or desire is ignored, then appeals to change people’s actions will only amount to temporary or shallow behavioral change.”^[5] We need more than simplistic behavioral change; we need heart change, and that is why we must understand human desires on the deepest level.

In Mark 7:21-23, Jesus reminds us that it is what comes from the heart that defiles us: evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All of which comes from the heart and is stimulated by desires. This is also why Jesus can say in Matthew 5:28 that whoever looks at a woman with lustful intent has committed adultery with her in his heart. We have taken a good desire for sex given by God and used it sinfully. Dr. Adams notes, “It is convincing one’s self that the desire ought to be indulged, even if it is not possible or prudent at the moment to indulge it outwardly, by saying, “I shall titillate myself inwardly and enjoy it in my imagination.”^[6] 

So, how do we begin to help people in the counseling room overcome these sinful desires that seem impossible to control? How do we help that young man who has been looking at porn or that young lady who is forcing herself to throw up after every meal? Dr. Adams says, “Innate desires must be controlled and rehabituated to respond to persons, objects, and circumstances according to the requirements of Scripture. Biblical alternatives, implanted through the process of rehabituation, must replace sinful choices. Until you replace them, they too must be brought under control temporarily through resistance (James 4:7).”^[7] Just as sin is a process, turning towards righteousness and overcoming these desires is also a process.

Every choice we make has an underlying desire that prompted the choice being made. Jeremy Pierre is helpful here: “If they (counselors) only focus on the choices people make, then counselors will miss the control desires that are driving choices.”^[8] It isn’t so much that the young man chose to look at porn; while that is sinful, there was a desire that, left unchecked, will keep prompting this behavior. It is the same with the young woman who forces herself to throw up after every meal. Oftentimes, these choices have become habituated over time and attached to a single desire.

Therefore, we must focus on the underlying desires and help our counselees learn how to use them in a way that pleases God, or cut them off completely (Matt. 5:29-30). At the beginning of this process, the counselee must acknowledge their own weakness in overcoming these desires, repent, and trust in God for the power of the Spirit to transform their desires. James mentions this in James 4:7, where he directs us to resist the devil and draw near to God. Then we must find ways to help our counselees control the natural desires given by God and use them as a means to enjoy and glorify God, while also helping our counselees learn to replace those sinful desires and choices with righteousness. In other words, the process of putting off and putting on works naturally in this context. Because each person has individualized desires, this process can vary for each individual.

God’s Word has not left us alone to figure out the problem of desires. As believers in Christ, we have the power of the Holy Spirit and we have the Word of God to direct us and strengthen us to overcome them. We must understand that desires run deeper than we typically think they do, and at the root of every choice, a desire was acted upon. We can help our counselees learn to use those desires for the good of others and to glorify the God who made them.

[1] Adams, Jay E. A Thirst for Wholeness: How to Gain Wisdom from the Book of James. Timeless Texts, 1988. P. 77

^[2] Ibid. p. 78.

^[3] Ibid. p. 79.

^[4] Pierre, Jeremy. The Dynamic Heart in Daily Life: Connecting Christ to Human Experience. New Growth Press, 2016, p. 5.

^[5] Ibid. p. 6.

^[6] A Thirst for Wholeness: How to Gain Wisdom from the Book of James. p. 80.

^[7] Ibid. p. 82.

^[8] The Dynamic Heart in Daily Life: Connecting Christ to Human Experience. pp. 181–83.